Part Time Rap Reviewer turned Philosopher and Student of the Human Condition
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Bow Down To the Emperor
A little about me: I am a Media Mogul and Radio Show Host from Tampa, Florida, and I am your Emperor.
I've written here for a decade so that most of you should know me. If not, then ask somebody. I suggest the people whom I list below.
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Presenting... the NEW Big D rating system for 2010 and UP in Music! Now pay close attention.
Near Flawless. This has now become the hardest and rarest rating to get from me. In order for an album to get a 5 Star rating, it has to be excellent, a masterpiece where its flaws are so minute that it ultimately does not matter. This typically will go to albums that have virtually no skippable or dull moments and albums that I feel transcend all music genres and must be owned by any fan who consider themself a true music bopper.
A 4-4.5 record means it's near-perfect, but does not quite make it. Truly GREAT albums will now get this record. 4-4.5 Star releases are 100% worth every penny from the masses because they have very little flaws and generally a cut above the rest - maybe even considered a classic in most circles. 4.75 is probably not happening though.
This used to stand for average, but now stands for GOOD. Good albums and releases will get 3 stars. Usually 3 means that there are a couple of tremendous songs on the record but the rest are just decent songs - OR a group of great songs but nothing truly extraordinary, OR just a solid good release that is worth a couple of spins, but probably not worth carting around as truly great. I will gauge it differently on a case by case basis. 3.5 or 3.75 usually means I really liked the album, but for some reason it just lacked that fine-tuning or consistency to make it a 4. Still, 3-4 is positive. 2.75s are JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST shy of being considered good.
This is the new "average" on most reviews, but usually falls under disappointing; I find myself giving this rating to releases that I hoped would be good based on either word of mouth or the artist involved is one that I know is capable of better, but just comes off weak. 2-2.75 means that there IS some good, but the bad ultimately outweights. There's usually one or two singles on these albums that ARE worth picking up via your local Itunes store, but it's just not worth investing in everything.
Generally horrible. 1-2s range from being completely awful, embarrassing pieces of trash, to just inconsistent. Even if an album has 2 or 3 decent songs and the rest are garbage, it is likely it will end up in this pile. Albums that receive 1 or 1.5 (I doubt any will get 1.25) are usually complete trash and the .5 means they might have one or two truly fantastic moments, but nothing worth paying for. Stay away from these.
1) .5s will no longer be rounded up - EVER.
2) Unless skits are absolutely fantastic - they WILL hurt an album. Anytime you have to press the skip button, it weighs against it.
3) With regards to music albums: averages do not count toward the final rating of an album (nor have they ever). Example: if an LP has 10 songs and every song is 3 stars, it does not make it a 3 star album. If an album is loaded with nothing but AVERAGE songs, does that mean you should even CONSIDER paying for it? Of course not, its 1 or 2 depending on factors. If an album has a bunch of 4 star songs, it's probably getting anywhere from 2.5-3, because it has no 5 or 6 star songs. Speaking of which...
4) With song ratings, ***** means its a standout song, ****** means its an extraordinary masterpiece or centerpiece, and the ever so rare ******* means it's one of the greatest songs ever made and transcends the human race. To this day, only SIX songs have received the *******, two Michael Jackson songs, two Beatles songs, 9.95, and Don McLean. No hip hop songs have ever received the ******* to this day, but that may change one day.
My Apostles, Servants, Friends, and Fellow Dictators
- By Gosh, it's Marat.
- Our future President Balogun. Feel the Savagery.
- My son Dave. CHEA!
- Apostle Nick, better known to you as Headcase. Bow Down.
- Ladies Love Cool G
- Disco Infernal: Big Entertainer
- Mike Bracken: The Horror Geek. Just as bloodthirsty and sick as me.
Paulyoungotti: Gotti is God.
Presenting: THE VOGUE CREW
BIG D [Blue Team]:
ALB [Blue Team]:
MARAT [Blue Team]:
DAYO (right) w/ CHAOSTAMER (left) [Gold Team]:
Note: Chaostamer is NOT in the Voguecrew. He is merely the tamer of the savage one
AESOPFABLE [Pink Team]:
PDT [Gold Team]:
MECCA ABSTRAK [Gold Team]:
ALTERSREALITY [Gold Team]:
HEADCASE [Blue Team]:
Thomas Steenhagen lives in this box... where working for less than minimum-wage is acceptable and fantasies of being a gangsta are welcome...
Let's not forget Steeny Hill a.k.a. Bobby Bunk in front of the Bunkmobile... straight outta Flevoland...
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