I was born in a log cabin in the wilds of Georgia. I had to walk 100 miles uphill (both ways) just to go to the bathroom.

As I child I would hunt bears with a sharp stick. I wore rabbit fur underwear until I was 17. At 18, I was sold into slavery and forced to fight in gladiatorial games to the death.

After 10 years and 250 fights, I was awarded my Rudis and became a free man.

I then learned UNIX and began the ultimate battle...

"Corporate Deathmatch"