--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ME:

I was a young lad.........and then, that's my story.

The middle of that is read like this:

I feel I am a fair judge on music. There are styles I don't like, and styles that I favor. I do mark out for Tool and Van Morrison more than most things. There is a giant list of music that I do like. If you want to view that, then you want to waste a lot of time.

A short list of my favorite bands:

Tool
Van Morrison
Dave Matthews Band
Cake
Led Zeppelin
The Offspring
White Zombie

I told you it was a short list. Now, my main interest is heavy metal. I love all forms of it, and believe there are no labels to brand on it. I hate the word nu-metal. I hate the words thrash metal. I hate it! IT'S ALL METAL!!! Therefore, my metal catalog is bigger than almost everything else. However, don't pigeonhole me because of that.

What else can I tell you?

I play a lot of video games, watch a lot of movies, play guitar, bass, drums, and many other instruments, and love long walks by the river (since we have no beaches here in Waco, Texas).

I also write for a gaming webzine called Bonus Stage (www.bonusstage.com), where I write reviews, previews, and anything else I can about the world of video games. Click over there by going to the link in my favorite websites, or type in the web address in the parentheses above. If you are interested, my articles are posted under my real name, Joshua Williams. Most of my articles there are previews. With this also going on in my life, updates on my music reviews may come along a little later than normal, as I am constantly busy with that site. However, I will have more reviews coming for all you Epinion fanatics.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MY ALBUM COLLECTION:

If you really want to view my album collection, then you can go to this site and find out what I own, and even how much my collection is worth!

WARNING!!! When you click this link, it will not open a new window. It will open my collection in your existing window. It also may take a little time to load.

My CD Collection

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HOW I REVIEW:

As for my reviews, what do I look for in an album? Well, there are many things. Let me break down to you how I rate an album and name the review.

On the subject of sound, I look for something that I can either move to or "feel". I like to look for the theme of an album. For instance, when I listen to KoRn's Life is Peachy, there is a feel that I get from it, and I get the theme of being dragged through a swamp of discontent and pain with upsides. Therefore, the title of the review would probably be something like "Dragged Through A Swamp of Discontent And Pain With Upsides". Feel me yet?

Another thing that I look for is order. Albums have a natural progression. If the album works on that progression, then good. If the tracklisting should've been put in a different order, then that matters. I want to listen to an album from beginning to end, not here and there. Otherwise, just release singles.

The last thing I look for is, "How much do I like this album?" I look for originality, style, integrity; a lot of things that don't exist much anymore. If an album gets five stars from me, then it's a deserving album. I wouldn't just give five stars to many albums. Trust me on that.

You may notice that quite a few of my album reviews are four or five star albums. I think I should explain this as well. No one really wants to write a review on a bad album. However, it does occasionally happen. I don't totally agree with this site's opinion on the stars system, as I am used to working on a scale of 1-10 at the gaming site I work for. This is how I break down the stars:

5 Stars - Fantastic, and pretty much perfect. There may be one or two flaws, but it's not even worth thinking about them.
4 Stars - Still stellar, and still worth the asking price, but there is probably a track or two that just didn't work with the rest.
3 Stars - If you see this album for about 7-10 bucks, then get it. It'll be worth that much. Otherwise, wait for a price drop. Still good though.
2 Stars - The majority of this album sounds horrible, and the only redeeming factor is that it has one or two good songs.
1 Star - The only advantage to this is that it is a shiny, round disc that fits in your CD player. The contents of it, however, are worth making it into a frisbee.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WEB OF TRUST:

Now, for Epinions issues.....you are probably wondering about Web of Trust and all that. I'll tell you what. Here are the guidelines for me choosing a person for the Web of Trust.

1. LISTS SUCK! Lists aren't a review. I hate going to Amazon.com and reading the reviews, and all they say is, "This Song-5/5--It's a great opening track, blah blah blah." If that is your writing style, then enjoy Amazon.com. I consider this site to be for real reviewing, and you won't get my nod at all.

2. WRITE A REAL REVIEW! 15 words saying, "This album is really good. Great dynamics. Everyone should own this. THEY RULE!".....this is a surefire way for me to say no way.

3. DETAILS DO MATTER! When I read someone's article, I want to get something out of it. I want to know details. I want to know how it made you feel. I want to know everything you can tell me. So what if the review is 4 pages long? If it's good, then it will go by in about 2 minutes! Therefore, if you have no depth, I could care less.

Now that we have all of that out of the way, let's move on to some more important matters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLASSIC ALBUMS:

Because some albums are just too good to be true, and can withstand the test of time, I also have my Classic Albums of All-Time reviews. Now, these are special reviews that are written to celebrate the brilliance of music. You will know one of these articles by seeing it written as the first line of the article:
*This is a Classic Album of All-Time....blah blah blah.
Therefore, now you know, when you see these articles, it means that the album is fantastic.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REVIEWS THIS MONTH:

*Updated July 2004*

I will have reviews coming for the following albums this month:

Breaking Benjamin - We Are Not Alone

As I Lay Dying - Frail Words Collapse

Dead Poetic - New Medicines

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outies.

P.S.--My previous reviews here will appear under jakob187, without the underscore. Didn't feel like reactivating the account. Don't worry, they probably suck anyways.