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Note: This account is no longer active.
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Unable to be trusted how to spread my wealth around on my own.
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Activity Summary
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Reviews Written: 536
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Member Visits: 66,739
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Total Visits: 860,554
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mattjoe's Recent Opinions
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| Date Written |
Review Title |
Product / Topic |
Product Rating |
Review Rating |
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Jan 3, 2009
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Best Picture, Gran Torino
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Gran Torino
in Movies in Theaters
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Very Helpful
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Dec 25, 2007
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Aliens Vs. Predator-Requiem, They Got It Right!
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Aliens Vs. Predator - Requiem (DVD, 2008, 2-Disc Set, Special Edition)
in Movies
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Very Helpful
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Jul 3, 2007
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Transformers, Greatest movie ever that doesn't feature nudity
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Transformers
in Movies in Theaters
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Very Helpful
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Mar 5, 2007
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The Terminator: Hunters and Killers? NO, Boredom and disappointment
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Terminator: Hunters and Killers
in Movies
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Very Helpful
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Jan 11, 2007
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So there's this guy who has sex with his daughter....
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Oldboy (DVD, 2005)
in Movies
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Very Helpful
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 View more opinions by mattjoe
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About mattjoe
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PROUD TO BE PART OF: THE VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY
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WHAT IS MATT THINKING TODAY??: Change means getting the Clintons back? huh.
GIVE US BACK OUR WHALE!!
PLEASE DON'T TELL MY MOM I'M A LAWYER, SHE THINKS I'M A CRACK DEALING PIMP
click here & READ MY NEW FAVORITE OPINION!!! and this one too: Way COOL
I am a proud member of:
PETV, People for the Ethical Treatment of VEGETABLES
Why? What's the deal with VEGETABLES?? How would YOU like to be treated like a vegetable? Come away with me for a moment, close your eyes... OK, don't you won't be able to read this, but envision this.... There you are, happily growing in the ground. You are one with Mother Earth. Your fuzzy little green top sticks up out of the ground and the sun smiles on your leafy head everyday. You are fed nourishment from the sky when it rains. Life is good, right? WRONG BUCKO! DEAD WRONG! First, you get someone who decides he is going to throw DUNG on you. That's right, POOP AGAIN No longer are you going to see the sky, feel the misty rain on your leafy head, feel the gentle spring breezes flicker your leaves about, NO, YOU'VE GOT A PILE OF CRAP ON YOUR HEAD. Not only does it stink, it brings flies, and the next thing you know, you feel like one of those kids in an ad with Sally Struthers with flies crawling all over your face. Life has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. Life has turned into a big pile of suck! IT DOESN'T END THERE! One day you're hanging out growing happily in rows with your friends, when suddenly, you begin to see your friends being ripped up in agony by their leafy heads! You hear them screaming in agony, and occasionally watch as a friend is decapitated when she has too strong a grip with the Earth. The Earth loves the vegetables, mother earth does not want to let you go! and occasionally, bad things happen. Then, it is YOUR turn, your leaves are wrapped into the hands of some farmer doing the evil bidding of a Vegetarian, up! up you go, TORN FROM THE WOMB OF MOTHER EARTH, you grasp to her with your roots, you call out for her help, but it is futile, your roots are torn forcefully from your torso. You are suddenly naked and cold, no longer kept warm by the soil you have happily lived in, your leafy head is torn, your roots are useless, straining for water and dirt, you lie on the brink of death suffering silently when you are unceremoniously tossed into a pile with your other injured friends. Thinking the nightmare must be over soon, you are far from correct. You are washed, "WATER!" you scream joyously. Might there be a chance for life after all? HELL NO! This is just the beginning of your suffering. You will be frozen alive, chopped up alive, or even boiled alive, sometimes you will even be eaten whole. But all of the time, YOU WILL BE KILLED! and most of the time, you will be cooked and lay motionless on the plate of some kid who doesn't like you, doesn't appreciate your sacrifice, refuses to eat you, and won't, until his parents take up the spoon and shove you down his throat! All that, JUST SO HE CAN HAVE DESSERT! If you aren't eaten, you're just scraped off into the trash, and thrown out, amongst chicken bones, used tissues, and bags of dirty kitty litter. YOU THINK VEAL HAS IT BAD? You're wrong, DEAD WRONG.
STOP THE SLAUGHTER OF INNOCENT VEGETABLES!!
STOP THE VEGETARIANS! EAT MORE CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AND BACON! SAVE A BEET, KILL A PIG, JOIN PETV TODAY!
Read my stuff, If you don't I'll sit here and POUT!
WINNER OF: The Epinions Survivor
EPINIONS SURVIVOR!!
INTRODUCING:
#31
RIP CRUSTY
Crusty the Lobster- NOT A VEGETABLE. So we killed him and ate him, he was GOOD!
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