Trust me tender, Trust me true, never let me go...
May 26 '00 (Updated Jul 20 '00)
It is kind of long, so please come back when you have some spare time and I guarantee you might enjoy it.
This is merely an observation and maybe a bit of advice. Warning: Reading this might change the way you feel about human race. Well, may be not the human race but definitely about some of the Epinions trust issues.
Trust
What does it truly mean to trust someone? What TRUST means to one person doesn’t necessarily mean the same to another? Why do we trust people? What makes us see that person for who they truly are and put our destiny (or in this case, our Epinions destiny) in their hands, to some degree.
My parents always said, I trust too fast. People can take advantage of that. People can be cruel and that I should be more cautious. It is true, I do put a lot trust in people until they prove me otherwise. Yes, it is a slightly different policy then most people have. Let me explain. I start with trust and I do truly trust a person. One time you prove to me that you can not be trusted and you are history. I do not pass judgement, I do not throw words around like one more time or stop doing this, I just can’t stop trusting you. Yes, I am not talking about stopping all contact, just trust, plain and simple trust. It is not a spoof and it doesn’t happen over a single argument or in this case opinion, but once I get to the distrusting stage it is impossible for me to come back.
Let’s break it down
Let us see what the word can possibly stand for. Let us be a bit creative and a little more analytical. Some of this applies to Epinions, but most of it applies to TRUST in general. My take on TRUST as a word:
T - Talent. The person has to have a talent. No, it doesn’t mean talent to write a good review, but to be able to pass the emotions and the feelings about an issue in that review. The writing skills are great to have, but unfortunately not everyone of us has them, that doesn’t mean that the person who is trying to explain why they like something is not allowed to express the thoughts and feeling in the best way possible. I do not consider talent to be able to spell, but to have ideas, thoughts, imagination and personality inside your work.
R - Respect. I have to respect the person. I might not think that the reviewer is always right, I might not agree with all the points he or she makes and might not even like the style of writing that the person uses, but I respect the points and the ideas. I respect that person, because he or she got the point across and is not afraid to show his or hers true personality during the process.
U - Understanding. We all in one way or another can relate to the open minded issues, such as Abortion, Circumcision, Marriage, etc… but can we honestly say that the person we have trusted for may it be one day, one month or one year has given us something that we totally don’t agree with and still keep on trusting them. Can we look at something that we are totally against and keep an open mind? Should we in fact say that the person is still right? I think we should. The person has a strong belief on the subject, we trust him or her, we understand their point of you, and therefore we still respect that and trust them. Don’t close yourself to other sides of a coin. Be ready to face the fact that someone we know for a long time, might throw us a curve ball, but that doesn’t mean we stop trusting them in that instance. You trust someone, take time to understand his or hers way of looking at things.
S - Sensitivity. We become sensitive to ones we love and trust. We care about them and want the same in return. Be sensitive to the people that are important to you. Watch your comments. It is not what you say, but how you say it. You can give a compliment to someone and hurt him or her. Be sensitive to other people and their way of life. Don’t push your own ideas unto someone else’s situations. The people you love or trust will love you more, if you are honest, but sensitive.
T - Tolerance. Why should I tolerate this kind of language? Who is this person to me? They are just another name on my list? What do I care if they keep on writing about issues that I don’t agree with? You put the person in your life (on your WOT). You gave them benefit of the Doubt. You liked something about that person and now comes a true test. If you come across them trusting someone you might not necessarily like, you read their review that doesn’t agree with you beliefs or you get rated by that person in the way you do not agree with, what do you do? Will you take him or her of your WOT? Will you go as far as even putting them on WOD? How far are you willing to go? Can you be tolerant enough to someone, who at one time has caught your interest? Can you forgive or not even get upset at something that is not part of your routine or the way of thinking? I think you can, give it a try and it might surprise yourself.
Who should YOU Trust?
Even though I can not tell you whom you can and can’t trust, I can still give a word of advice. Trust the people you are comfortable with. People that write about things you enjoy or just enjoy reading their ideas and experiences. No one can tell you whom to trust. People trust others for all kinds of different reasons. You can not look at your trusted member’s WOT and automatically trust those people. At the same token you can not distrust someone for any reason, just because your friend said so. Use your personal level of judgement.
Things I do not recommend:
WOW, this guy is popular, I think I will stick him on my WOT.
I liked this movie very much, this person belongs on my WOT.
I can’t believe she thinks that gardening is a great pass time activity, here how would like that, WOD.
This person rated me Highly, how can I not trust him?
Yes, yes I live Iowa as well, you definitely belong on my WOT.
What, you think that wearing a red tie to the interview is a good idea, WOD for you my friend.
Oh my gosh, this guy is the funniest thing since my last Final Exam, common and join my WOT.
Well, this is just some of the things we like or dislike and can relate to. Whether or not it is a good idea to use them as a judgement for your WOT is totally up to you, but think before you do anything. WOT members have a lot more weight then you think when it comes to rating. WOT members can help you through your journey in Epinions land. You can actually be asked to help them. Ask yourself, are you ready for that type of commitment? I have helped members that I trust in abuse, bad comments and in other sorts of issues. I even helped some to get recruiters in their job search. Think and use your best judgement, that is all I can say.
Who do I Trust?
When I started, I have sometimes used wrong reasoning to trust other members. Maybe it wasn’t totally wrong, but not exactly a WOT material. So, whom do I trust? I erased my whole list recently and decided to analyze my methods. I TRUST EVERYONE. Well, am I insane? NO, I just feel that all the writers are great. How can you punish someone or not respect that member’s time and effort. If the person puts effort into their work, I will be notified by email message for as long as I am here. If I see you on my reviews, I will visit you and if I like couple of your reviews, I will be notified of the upcoming ones for as long as we are both members. Will I trust you? Perhaps, may it be right away or down the road at some point in time, but I will guarantee to never leave you, read and rate every review that you write and be as fair as possible. I will give you my support and advice, if you ask for it. You will hardly rid of me.
There are certain members that have a special meaning to me. Whether I trust them or just like them, I have some members that were there from the beginning of my Epinions journey. You know when you grow up with someone and they do something to you, but you still close your eyes and let it go. I believe in loyalty and to some point unconditional friendship. There are some that have a special place in my heart and I will never be able to drop them from my lists. I might not like every review or might not agree with every issue, but I come back and give them another chance to dazzle me. YES, Loyalty is a very strong aspect of my personality. No, I am not naïve, but I am very loyal. (Ask my wife)
Whom do I not TRUST is a little bit different? Yes it is. I might write a review on WOD in the future, but for now a little taste. I do not judge as I mentioned before. You write about the topics you know, but there is always a limit.
1. Do not pad the same letter or word, which to me is Immaturity.
2. If you are a harsh person, I am not talking about straight forward, but harsh, mean or whatever you choose to call it.
3. If you are prejudice.
4. If you can not rate fairly, or you rate for all the wrong reasons. I might put you on my WOD or might just ignore you. The same goes for retaliatory ratings, if I notice.
5. If you are a liar.
The last point I am trying to make is that to me even though my trust list has more priority then the rest, that doesn’t mean that I do not put the same effort and the same attention to the list of members I am being notified by. Believe me that list is huge, gigantic, enormous. Why you might ask? Like I said before I respect people’s time and effort. You rate me, if I like you, I will be there. You don’t rate me, but I like you, I will be there. You do nothing, but I like you, I will be there. That is the way I am, hate me or love me.
Thanks for reading this long review and I hope it was somewhat helpful in understanding WOT and my personal look on WOT. I wish I could TRUST the whole WORLD.
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Epinions.com ID:
jdanishevsky
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Location: Central Jersey, USA
Reviews written: 171
Trusted by: 245 members
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