The Coolness That *is* MattJoe
Dec 16 '00
I, Chalathra have spent countless sleepless nights worrying.
"What, please tell, do you worry about, Chalathra?"
I am glad you asked. I worry about the people who live day in and day out on the internet, and more specifically, Epinions, not knowing 'cool'.
Just who are you to tell me what's cool?
I shall plead my case. I can tell you 'cool' because I am from California. I believe this, along with the fact that Mattjoe is my friend, makes me capable of testifying of his 'coolness' So, grab yourself an ice cold Coke and pair of sunglasses... for we will discuss the top 10 reasons MattJoe [Herein, referred to, simply as, Matt] is so cool and why everyone should worship him.
...Drum Roll, please. And the Countdown Begins...
~#10: Matt will find this review on his own~
No need for any reader to rush off and tell Matt of this epinion. He is so cool he will find it on his own. I know this because my loyal friend Matt has faithfully read all of my epinions. Never being too busy for a friend is cool.
~#9: Matt has his own trading cards~
How cool is that??? This is just one of the many things that shows how special Matt is. Collecting Matt's trading cards is cool.
~#8: Matt will lay the SMACKDOWN~
No product or person is safe in the path of Matt's coolness. Count on cool Matt to tell you just like it is.
~#7: Matt will watch Tyra Banks nude~
Just for YOU!!! His readers. He'll stop at nothing to help you make a wise buying decision. From eating baby food to opening his vintage can of coke...He cares so much for his readers, and that is cool.
~#6: Matt beat up The Great One~
Okay, Okay... so I made this one up. But, I just couldn't write an epinion about how great Matt is and leave The Great One, steveaz1, out.
~#5: Matt is Hilarious~
Should you be so wise as to read him, no explanation is necessary. But, for those of you who are causing me my lack of sleep, please go read him... His humor will describe his coolness on it's own.
~#4: Matt is Tough~
Matt shoots guns. Matt stands for what he believes in. Let's all join in his fight to ban household cutlery. Being tough is cool.
~#3: Matt is Sensitive~
Shhhhh! I'm breaking his cover. But, the man is totally in tune, ladies! He opens his heart and picks up presents for the less fortunate kids with wishes hanging on the local Department store Christmas tree. He will probably freak that I am telling,(Or, in common Matt like fashion, remain cool) but he cries at movies. Being sensitive is cool.
~#2: Matt is trying to find the real killers:
Alas, I am not alone in believing O.J. Simpson's innocence. Matt is using his lawyer and hunting skills to catch Nicole and Ron's real killers. Though his proclamation has recently been missing from his Epinions profile page, I rest easy knowing Matt is out there willing to help. Helping O.J. is cool.
...And, the #1 reason Matt is so cool is...
~Matt Loves Me~
He is absolutely wonderful in the way he treats me. He makes me feel all special. He will very sincerely lie and call me a 'hottie'. He didn't think twice when I asked him to sign up for funbug under me (And has made money in the process of doing it.) He writes me nice Emails and great comments on my Epinions. Loving Chalathra is very cool.
So, now I can sleep at night once again.
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Epinions.com ID:
Chalathra
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Member: melicious
Location: Temecula, CA
Reviews written: 75
Trusted by: 191 members
About Me:
I left Epinions before but BABY I'M BACK!
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