|
|
My favorite book. Very funny! Check it out at: http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0-595-36702-X
more
|
Activity Summary
|
|
Reviews Written: 90
|
|
Member Visits: 3,534
|
|
Total Visits: 19,710
|
|
|
About Sabrina7
|
AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL MOVIE DIRECTORS:
As a member of the movie viewing public, I feel that you -- the movie directors of the world -- have a misconception about myself and other members of the movie viewing public. So, let me set the record straight. I do not claim to speak for everyone. But I'm pretty sure I speak for many. I shall do this in an easy to follow list form for your convenience, because, after all, you are the movie directors of the world and are, thus, very busy.
ABOUT YOUR AUDIENCES:
1) My friends and I don't have conversations like this:
Me: What do you guys want to do tonight?
Friend #1: Let's go see a movie?
Friend #2: What's playing?
Friend #3: There are five new movies out. (Friend #3 then reads list of new movies currently playing in theater.)
Me: Wow, those sound good, but I fear there will be no falling horses in any of those movies.
Friend #2: Yeh, I think you're right. Let's go out dancing instead so that the movie directors of the world won't make a lot of money and will have to give up their third homes in Europe.
Everyone at once: Okay!!!!
2) I have never heard anyone standing on front of me on line for a movie; and, I've asked around, and no one I know has ever heard anyone standing around on line for a movie say the following:
"I'm really looking forward to this movie. I just know it's going to be jam
packed with falling horses!"
3) To my knowledge, there are no ratings systems for movies based on falling horses, as in, "this movie is a must-see. I give it TEN falling horses." There's the famous two thumbs up rating system. There's the "Two Snaps Up in a Circle" from "In Living Color," there's the five-star rating system and so on. But, I swear to GOD, there is no rating system involving falling horses.
4) No one in the history of the entire English language has ever uttered any of the following phrases:
"That movie would have been so much better if more horses had fallen down."
"The director is a genius--Did you see the way he got those horses to fall down?"
"I wasn't sure I was really getting into the action scene, but man, that falling horse really made me realize what a great battle was taking place."
Okay, I think you get my point, but let me hammer it home, again in easy to follow list form:
1) No horses may be "harmed" when they fall down in movie scenes.
2) But, I'm still not entirely sure they're having fun.
3) I mean, if someone said they would pay me to repeatedly be pushed down onto the dirt from a standing position over and over again until a scene was "just right," I don't think I'd take the job--even if Mel Gibson was riding on my back at the time.
4) I imagine the situation is much worse for horses, since they don't understand all the shooting and movement going on around them.
5) And they DON'T get paid.
6) And they have much farther to fall and it's harder for them to get up.
7) Besides, I read somewhere that they get the horses to fall down by tying a rope around their neck and pulling at the appropriate moment.
8) So with that in mind, LET'S HAVE NO MORE FALLING HORSES.
9) You can still be dramatic--just have the actors fall off the horses instead.
10) Hmm, Michael Douglas or Jennifer Lopez or Julia Roberts falling of a horse. Now THAT I'd pay to see!
|
|
|
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2008 Shopping.com, Inc.