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About Simply_Crispy
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 - Top 1000
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Epinions.com ID:
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Simply_Crispy
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Location:
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Peterborough, UK
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Member Since:
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Oct 24 '00
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Aiming for the top 500.
more
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Activity Summary
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Reviews Written: 210
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Member Visits: 18,848
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Total Visits: 155,587
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About Simply_Crispy
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Right, so much for the fabled comeback. I have spent the past 6+ months laid up in various medial facilities up and down the country due to a previously undiscovered, hereditary liver disease which, and I'm not exaggerating when I say this, almost killed me :(
The previously touted reviews are now not likely to go ahead, so I'm just going to go back to my usual style of random (but sadly never drunken ever again) film reviews. If anyone is still reading anything to do with my profile, stay tuned.
Right, first review up. It's not my best work, not by a country mile, but considering I've written a film review in nearly three years, I was always going to be suffering from ring rust. Go easy, but be honest.
Seeing as I'm back, and most of you have a clue/give a flying monkey's fart as to who I am, let's get past the pillow talk and on with the foreplay
My name is Chris, I'm 29 and I'm from the good ol' UK. I know, I know, someone from the UK who can actually afford the internet these days, it's absurd. It's no real sacrifice to be able to afford Broadband connection here in Rip-Off Britain, just need to cut down on the menial things like food. And water. But not the vodka, thank the Lord, the vodka still costs the same.
Now enough about me as a person, and onto what you can expect as me as an Epinons reviewer:
1) Movie reviews. Honestly, no false modesty here. Ask me about anything else, and I'm like a dog being shown a card trick. Except football. No, not American Football (you know, the sport you predominantly use your HANDS in) I mean Association Football. Soccer. Whatever you want to call it. Movies and FOOTBALL I know.
2) I curse. This is not a boast, this is not a rebellious "Oooh, I'm not supposed to curse on Epinions, but I'm gonna anyway" stance. It's just who I am. I'm sorry if you look down on it in general, or you just you disagree with it on this site. It's never graphic, it's never without reason and it's never in a review that is inappropriate (generally, anything aimed at kids I tend to avoid swear words). But it will happen. Sorry. If you don't agree with it then please don't read my reviews, get offended and leave a NH rating because you don't care for my language. Bail out now if that's how you feel.
3) I have had my work published in two of the UK's biggest film magazines; Total Film and Empire. I am not a professional by any stretch of the imagination, and I will freely accept that I am a fiend when it comes to typography errors. I have no doubt that you will spot many of these in my reviews. Chances are I will spot them five minutes after you so, please, don't fill my comments section pointing out these typos. I have been known to spend anything up to four hours writing a review, so the last thing I want is for someone to leave a smug message pointing out a missing apostrophe, or a simple slip of the finger. Everywon maykes miss takes.
4) I'm game for a laugh. As I hope you will soon realise, 99% of everything I write on this site is meant in a light-hearted manner (except for my third point above, that's the 1%). If I leave you a sarcastic comment it is not meant in malice. I'm simply the kind of guy who doesn't take the internet seriously.
5) I applaud honesty. I can accept criticism. If you have a valid reason for not liking what I write, then say so. This is a consumer website, so if you feel that what I'm writing is inaccurate, unfair or just plain unacceptable, then rate me as such. Leave a comment if you wish. Just know that I have never been, nor ever will be, the kind of member who will revenge rate.
6) I hate Star Wars.
INCONSEQUENTIAL SIMPLY_CRISPY WRITE/OFFS
Expunged From Their CV - Artbyjude#1
Expunged From Their CV - Artbyjude#2
Expunged From Their CV -
Artbyjude#3
Expunged From Their CV - BigJack
Expunged From Their CV - d_fienberg
Expunged From Their CV - jankp
Expunged From Their CV - lemon_lime
Expunged From Their CV - Lynus
Expunged From Their CV - Macresarf1
Expunged From Their CV - mfunk75
Expunged From Their CV - MrsNormanMaine
Expunged From Their CV - Simply_Crispy#1 (host)
Expunged From Their CV - Simply_Crispy#2 (host)
Expunged From Their CV - Simply_Crispy#3 (host)
Expunged From Their CV - skbreese
Expunged From Their CV - susidee34
Expunged From Their CV - Vormancian#1
Expunged From Their CV - Vormancian#2
Expunged From Their CV - Vormancian#3
Expunged From Their CV - Weirdo_87
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