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Who I am:
My name is Stephen Ryan, and I live in a suburb northwest of the city of Chicago.
I am currently a student and work as a professional journalist outside of my school, though I do not have a degree in journalism.
I also enjoy umpiring baseball and listening to music. I play both the alto and
soprano saxophone, and I like long walks on the beach. (Actually, I've never had
one worth remembering, so who knows?) I'm also a member of the American Copy
Editors' Society and the American Political Science Association.
I try to rate as often as I can, and write about as
often, but I lapse quite often because I am out of town or just too darned busy
to get a spare moment to read some of the fascinating things you folks write on
this website. Those who trust me, I try to rate your reviews as often as I can
but as I just said, sometimes you just can't get a free moment - I hope you
understand. People I trust are those who I have read and enjoy their opinions,
who share common interests, and who are respectful to themselves and others.
If you only read one of my opinions, read this one
- parents, especially. How to Raise Teenagers
Things you might see me doing:
1. Umpiring a softball or baseball game at a local diamond.
2. Covering an event for the local paper.
3. Seeing a movie with friends of mine.
4. Reading a book.
5. Listening to music.
6. Working at a campaign for a local Democratic Party candidate.
7. Jamming on my alto or soprano saxophone.
Things I wouldn't be caught dead doing:
1. Making fun of someone different from me.
2. Selling Amway products.
3. Driving around aimlessly in an $80K car, like so many snobs I know do. (I own a Saturn coupe, paid for in full by myself.)
4. Laughing at the misfortune of others.
5. Throwing my television into a river with other environmentalists to support Ralph
6. Wearing jeans big enough to conceal a body in.
7. Listening to anything by Eminem.
Quotes I Like:
"The characteristics of the American journalist consist in an open and coarse appeal to the passions of his readers; he abandons principles to assail the characteristics of individuals, to track them into private life and disclose all their weaknesses and vices." -
Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
"Your omlette just hit the fan." - Adam Schiff, Law and Order
"I have spent years studying the
politics of Eastern Europe, and do you know what the most common phenomenon in
politics is over there? They're walking BACKWARDS!" - Professor Richard
Farkas, DePaul University
"If life's taught me one thing repeatedly,
it's to know when I'm beaten." - Seymour Skinner, The Simpsons
"A prayer in a public school! God has
no place within these walls!" - Superintendent Chalmers, The
"Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to
the FBI." - Special Agent Dana Scully, The Simpsons
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware:
it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate. [Homer
looks puzzled.] That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
"Can't this town go one day without a
riot?" - Diamond Joe Quimby, The Simpsons
Bands & Performers I like: