That's a fact, unless of course there's yet another room to this house. Like the one I suspect that says no matter what, you can't escape whatever patterns are set for you at the moment of your birth -- but hey -- you can at least learn to live with them.

So there's this STRANGE contradiction that says not to depend on anybody else, because nobody else can master themselves, and they certainly aren't you, and that means that (love aside for the moment) people are better to compete against than to rely upon. This certainly is true wherever knowledge is concerned. For the sake of conflict avoidance alone, knowledge is compromised and advanced knowledge is forbidden. For MATRIX reasons people have to feel that they are essential to the universe -- they have to "become enlightened" to give them something to do -- which means they can either be mentored or exploited by people who think they are smarter. They can even do it themselves.

That doesn't make REAL knowledge less essential, to society or individually, in our NEED. But it does make for a lot of needless thrashing about.

That's why I've spent the last twenty years ALONE on that famous quest for the ultimate unified knowledge (gnosis). Fortunately I started early, had talent, and got lucky (is there such a thing as luck, really? I'd tell you but it would be quite an impolite thing to do in mixed company.)

So if it's true I have reached, or am reaching, a critical mass, terminal velocity, or crush depth, then I will get listened to by, say, family members right? --Uh-uh. That's a lesson that I had to learn and just did.

I am bored with everything normal. More than bored. I am thoroughly fed-up. And I can't tell you what I could tell you and at least now you know why. Not that I am undemocratic, unlike democratic leaders who enlighten and exploit you. So forget about it. I don't know if you're really a giant cockroach or an enemy Mugwump. So here's the lesson for the week: ultimately competition is (only) about being about yourself. If you can digest that -- good for you. If you can do it -- even better -- you are a contender.

Feeling essential and getting enlightened and ultimately being about yourself (quite a leap from timid victimization) are great but ... can I say this without risking your self-worth, sanity, and ripping a temporary hole in the (you know what)?

I'll encrypt it. The universe will balance the cost and benefit. So if you don't understand it -- forget about it! It's too expensive!

Being strong and competing is not a solution. And it's not going to save anybody from anything. It just *is.* In other words -- compete.

I believe in win-wins. And I compete to get them. Of course I am an exception. And I have to face both principals of evil and so many timid victims cowed to their evil master's whips and tricks. My trick is to end up on top, like a ping-pong ball among much heavier and larger rocks. So just remember that if I beat you or your master it's nothing personal -- it's a group thing.

This week I have a newfound understanding of the "US and THEM" dichotomy, and a new respect (and need for) the system that brings combatants together, AND "THAT LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD" in order for meaningful evolution to take place. I'm talking about Free Enterprise and the American way, Osama.

Of course it doesn't REALLY work that way. And I can't tell you why -- etc. But just between you and me there are a lot of very immature people who have all the money and all the credentials and they can kiss (insert something witty here about my elephant).

So for this week it was damn the torpedoes and "LET'S GET 'EM BOYS!" Which brings me to love. Which is the most awesome weapon of all. More on that next week, I am sure. Xgenei R.