I don't want to smoke anymore, I just do

Jun 22, 2000

If any one should have motivation to quit smoking it should be me, I watched my Mother die three years ago from lung cancer. She smoked heavily for 20 years, she was only 65 years old.

Prior to her diagnosis of lung cancer, she had all five toes on her right foot amputated, caused by a blocked artery in her leg.
She knew of all the consequences, yet she continued to smoke.

As I sit her typing this I shed a tear, knowing that the joys of watching her Grand children grow and develop is something she will never be able to see. My daughter just graduated from grammar school, with a few awards of achievement and she has won blue ribbons at horse shows. and I just think that had she been able to quit smoking she would still be here today and be able to share all the joy with me.

I'm still smoking, and I don't know why. I want to quit, and I have tried before and haven't been successful, and I guess I feel as though I have failed at it. I know I should keep trying.

I want to be around and watch my kids and their kids.
and I know that I can better my chances for doing that by quitting smoking now. But it's not all that easy, I'm under a lot of stress right now, due to being in the early stages of my divorce, (yeah I know, it's just an excuse) a reason not to quit.
I know I will get there some day, I just don't know what is better, cold turkey or cutting down gradually. I mean think about it, when we first started smoking, we didn't pick up and start off smoking two packs a day.
and I was told that it is easier for your body to get used to the reduction of nicotine in your system if it is done gradually.
and I can almost guarantee that if I go cold turkey, I will be climbing the walls with in two days.
I have all the reasons why I should quit, and really none for not quitting. I guess I just have to make up my mind and do it.
and I know that I have to really want to quit in order for any method to work.

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Member: Heidi Drumm
Location: Massachusetts
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